Beware! Screaming Gittery!

Everybody in the world really should read Charlie Brooker's Screen Burn from today in full. But for the heck of it, here's a few choice quotes:

'If it wasn't for the Enlightenment, you wouldn't be reading this right now. You'd be standing in a smock throwing turnips at a witch.'

' "Spirituality" is what cretins have in place of imagination.'

And I can't edit this paragraph at all without losing a bit I really like, so here 'tis:

'Maybe you've put your faith in spiritual claptrap because our random, narrative-free universe terrifies you. But that's no solution. If you want comforting, suck your thumb. Buy a pillow. Don't make up a load of floaty blah about energy or destiny. This is the real world, stupid. We should be solving problems, not sticking our fingers in our ears and singing about fairies. Everywhere you look, screaming gittery is taking root, with serious consequences. The NHS recently spent £10m refurbishing the London Homeopathic Hospital. The equivalent of 500 nurses' wages, blown on a handful of magic beans. That was your tax money. It was meant for saving lives.'

All television reviews should be like this.