Monday, December 10, 2007

Dammit, Jimmy Page still knows how to look cool when he wants to. Is this fair use? I suppose it's commentary.


First Song, First Album

Or what about 'Good Times/ Bad Times', come to that: 'In the days of my youth...'

Why didn't they ask me?

There was a review by Colin Tudge in yesterday's Graun of a book which purports to debunk Dawkins et al. The review was startlingly fallacious - I have no idea about the book, not having read it - and so I was going to witter on about it here.

But bugger that! Led Zeppelin are playing tonight fer fuxake! Yes, this lot:



Corks. I was glad to find that video, as that would be the 'Telecaster as offensive weapon' I was talking about on a previous post. There's a still more ferocious version of the song here.

No I didn't get tickets.

But the reason for posting was that I realised that unbelievably, I have failed to have the 'what will they/should they play' conversation with anybody, in particular the will they/won't they play You Know What thing. What kind of geek do I think I am?

Well, My two pennyworth is this: I think they should start with it. No one will expect that, and most importantly it will get it off their chests right from the start; speculation dealt with, they can then get on with the rest of the gig and play. More than all that, though, it would work terrifically in terms of dynamics. Picture it thus - pitch black stage, and spotlights pick out each of 'em in turn as they come into the song, Page first, then Jones, Plant and finally, ahem, JB, who will get a HUGE response, I hereby predict. Instead of a hammer blow to start with, we go from hush to a roar, within the first song. The trouble with opening up hard and fast is that in terms of dynamics, you've nowhere to go but down; after this, they can go anywhere they like.

In the recent Queens of the Stone Age DVD they open spectacularly with Go With The Flow, an excellent WHAM of a beginning with a terrific visual punch to go with it. The trouble is, that song has rather a down beat chorus, the melody descending and releasing rather than climaxing, and so you feel that the impact is lost even before the first tune is over.

If you have to go with attacking from the off then it would have to be CB I guess, as in the above vids. One of the first songs they ever nicked, sorry, wrote, and it, ahem, never fails to bring the proverbial Rock, as far as I'm concerned. Somehow it's all in that one riff, a bridge from Cochran to Hetfield and beyond.

My prediction, though? It would take a heart of stone not to be sorely tempted by the sheer cheesy appropriateness of 'It's been a long time since I rock 'n' rolled', would it not? Either that or D'yer Mak'er. Not so much Sons of Thunder as Sons of Althea and Donna.

NME and Uncut will be blogging live as the band plays. I will be watching, because I'm old enough not to care if you think I'm sad.

Aaah - aaaaaah - AH!

(Now, if he can still do that, I'll be impressed.)

Sunday, December 02, 2007

Your Kung Fu lousy.

Well, here's a splendid video. To summarise, amazing martial arts magician demonstrates his fabulous Chi powers and chucks his students around the room without laying a finger on them! He challenges any martial artist (or possibly any martial artist from a particular discipline, I don't know) to fight him for tons of money! Do I need to spell out the next bit? Here it is:



So, how does this all happen? My strongest hunch is that these students actually believed all that they were doing. There are a huge amount of social pressures which push people to act in the ways expected of them, but that doesn't mean that the students are putting it on. They think they are going to get knocked about by magic, and so they are. He thinks he can knock people about by magic, and so he can - as long as they've drunk the kool-aid (I nicked that). People can persist in these parallell worlds absolutely forever, unless something happens to fracture it. And you know what? I bet that even now that guy believes he can do it, it's just that the meridians weren't flowing right, or the other guy secretly practiced ultra anti-chi woo more powerful than his woo...

So, don't ever give me 'lots of people think homeopathy has worked for them so it must be true', because it's bollocks. As are crystals. Psychics. MMR did not cause your child's autism, and the strength of your conviction that it did is the strength of the force beating the student around the head so that he is helpless, vibrating in space.

I wonder if there's something here, too, about how it is that manifest fools like Rumsfeld and Bush can command so much respect and obedience for so long. There's lots more to this, but I'm tired now. Laugh at the fool!

Music: Neu!2